He hasn’t called after that amazing date?

The complexities of relationships are extensive, not least of all when it comes to dating. It is little wonder that people are growing exhausted by the ordeal and find the option of a night in front of Netflix ever more appealing.

Some dates go smoothly, there is instant chemistry and a genuine connection. Some are a disaster which, although disappointing, are positive in that they are clean-cut, enabling both parties to move on swiftly.

However, there is a third category, the most frustrating of all – the ‘But I thought we really got on!’ date.

The ‘But I thought we really got on!’ date is one where, despite having an apparently successful evening, the proverbial phone line goes dead and you are left wondering what the hell happened.

Having dated for more years than I care to remember I’ll be the first to admit that on occasion, I’ve been left bewildered by a post date flatliner.

It’s confusing, and may well lead a girl to have the following sane and rational conversation with herself.

“He must have lost his phone!!!

Of course, that’s it! It happens all the time – especially to men after dates! Or maybe he’s been cut off for non-payment? So what if he works at Merrill Lynch!!? he’s obviously asset rich and phone poor!

He could have run out of battery … for three weeks or he’s been mugged by a hooded street gang in a dark alley on the way to the tube. Poor guy, maybe I should call him to see if he’s OK?? I’ll bet he’s furious I haven’t bothered to contact him to see how he is!

Oh hang on though, I’ve seen him on Whatsapp …
Which means he still has his phone but hasn’t text me. Maybe because I haven’t text him first?? Doh, what kind of man actually contacts someone they fancy? It’s only been three weeks, he’s just waiting for me to make the first move!!
After all it went so well! … Maybe if I drop him a casual ‘hey stranger, how you doing?” text it will remind him of how well we got on and he’ll want to see me again! We had fun, chatted loads, snogged at the end of the night he promised he’d call, HE PROMISED!!!

Ring any bells?

Actually, this situation is easier to resolve than it looks.

He hasn’t contacted you again because he didn’t fancy you and never wants to see you again.

Thanking you kindly.

You see, dear deluded and drunk lady staring at your phone, there is one thing to remember when it comes to dating, if a man wants to see you again he’ll find a way. Even if it means contacting the National Archive of British Citizens because he has lost his phone/laptop/access to all social media outlets you might be on, he will find a way to contact you.

And if he doesn’t, it simply means, to coin a well-used phrase, he really isn’t that into you. I don’t doubt that the evening was fun and he made promises he had no intention of keeping, but what was the alternative, having the awkward ‘thanks but no thanks’ conversation – who can be bothered with that at 11.30pm on a Monday night?

You will never know the reason he didn’t want to see you again (and don’t even think about asking him) It’s just a simple fact of life that, while some people feel it, others don’t. It isn’t personal or something you should spend time over-analyzing – he just didn’t fancy you enough.

So, now that’s established and you are feeling full of confidence and self-worth, may I suggest the following. Delete his number, step away from the phone and go get yourself another date. One man’s trash is another man’s treasure … metaphorically speaking, of course.

 

Guest Post by Katy Horwood

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